The Blue Bird is here to help you find that special someone amongst Cambridge’s sporting scene.
The winter months are most definitely upon us. It’s cold and dark, and for some of you the only solution is finding yourself a new squeeze to snuggle nights away with and importantly to add to the list of people who will buy you a present this holiday season. Have a read and maybe you’ll know which team to look for on the Cindie’s dance floor this Wednesday.
Rowers get a bad rep, but they have their redeeming qualities. Rowers can eat whatever they want, whenever they want, dating a rower would be like dating Gino D’Acampo. Pasta. Everywhere. But it is just as well that they get to eat what they want because it is the only drop of fun they ever get to have. Rowers row, talk about rowing and go to rowing socials. If you fancy fitting in to this exciting schedule they will probably be able to see you at some point between midnight and 4am.
Much like rowing, it’s very cool to be down on rugby players, we’ve all read the shocking independent articles about degrading initiations and all round despicable behaviour. But that’s other uni’s, rugby players here aren’t like that. In Cambridge we are treated to the thinking rugby player, the ‘more than meets the eye’ rugby player. These are the players that smash the opposition, get smashed with the team and then want to talk to you about their insecurities after. They’ll happily glide past the Cindie’s queue every week with all their mates without paying, but then will ponder why rugby has such as bad reputation. Prepare for them to tell you, repeatedly, that they’re all just a group of really stand up guys and gals, and then tell you more about themselves and rugby and themselves and rugby and a bit more about themselves. I understand where the ego comes from, I mean all you have to do is look at the thighs, biceps, shoulders, abs, glutes, ruggedness…I get it. They may not be the malevolent figures that they’re often painted to be, but their inflated egos will be enough to make you yawn. They can probably get you John’s tickets though, so it might be worth it.
Do northerners leave a nasty taste in your mouth? Don’t want to have to leave Surrey for your booty call? Look no further than the Lacrosse team. This is a sport that train hard and often, something we’re reminded of every time we see a stick in lectures, so if you want a fit and competitive date the lacrosse team is a good place to look. Lacrosse is scary and intense, anyone who runs around with all those sticks and balls flying in their faces deserves some respect. But they’re not all about the game, putting the lit in elitism, the lacrosse team frequent Wednesday Cindies. If you want a bae that can chop a VK quicker than you can say trust fund then this is the sport for you.
For the shallow amongst you I have to point out that nothing tones a bum better than football. Footballers have great glutes, that’s just science. If you’re into football, dating a footballer is great, snuggles and match of the day, getting excited about transfer news together, endlessly debating whether Arsenal or Everton are the most boring club to support, playing one bounce together dropping the ball only because you’re too busy looking lovingly in to each other’s eyes. Not into football? You’re going to be stuck down the pub wondering how you’re dating someone with such dull chat, whilst simultaneously thanking your lucky stars that you’re not with their mate who calls everyone a legend, talks over you all night with football updates from twitter and substitutes actually having a personality with endless, irrelevant football knowledge.
You thought the private jokes that rowers have are bad, try dating a squash player. Spending hours and hours a week stuck in a sweaty box with various members of the team means that squash players are closer than close. It’s all bum slaps and shared sweat towels, so be prepared to feel like a third wheel whenever the team are around. On the up side: cardio, stamina and wrist strength.
What they lack in talent in traditional sports they make up for with enthusiasm and eagerness to please. This is sport full of people who desperately want to fit in, so stay clear of them on a Wednesday night, the shit chat will be abundant. However, when this extends to you, the eagerness to please can be really worked to your advantage. Your American Football bae will drop presents in your pidge and write you cute crushbridges, they’ll cycle out to your hill college to see you at the drop of a message and regularly use multiple heart emojis. They might even be so eager to please that you’ll be able to persuade them to stop wearing that awful Letterman’s jacket.
“Oh hey mate, are you interested in Clay Pigeon Shooting”
“Well, interesting you should say that, I have a shotgun, and was just talking to the rifle club about the possibility of storing it somewhere in Cambridge” (Overheard at 2017’s fresher’s fair)
RED FLAG. STAY CLEAR.
“They’re all bitchy and it’s not actually a real sport” is the line you will have heard about netballers. This stereotype has an awful lot to do with the fact that this is a sport that is played mostly by women, and you may or may not have noticed that people are sexist. Netball is tough, complicated and competitive. The women that play it, especially at Cambridge, are committed athletes, training hard and often. Don’t try to date a netballer if you have an inferiority complex. On top of being a super hard team to get in to netball is full of the types of that are either smashing a first, have a job lined up when they leave or are having much more fun than you, and normally a combination of them all.
Cambridge Basketball Club is international, largely post-graduate and tall. So if you want to find someone who is mature, provides great holidaying opportunities and importantly is easy to spot in crowds, the basketball club is the place to look.
It is always so tempting to be rude about Ultimate Frisbee, but we tend to mock what we cannot understand. Ultimate Frisbee is unofficiated meaning that the people on the pitch just have to be honest and remember that it is just a game. When you think about it, people that have played sports all their lives have gradually learnt that sometimes you have to cheat to win, starting to look at your fit hockey date a bit differently now right? Frisbee players are the remedy to all those sporty baes that thought that they could get away with anything. Get a FrisBae and you’ll be dating someone who loves to keep fit and have fun, but remembers that at the end of it, it is just fun. Like dating a normal sportsperson but without the arrogance and sense of entitlement.
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